What are blessings?

I guess I didn't hit publish on this when I wrote it.. Well here it is.. Enjoy

What are blessings? Blessings are defined as special favor, mercy or benefit. A favor or gift bestowed by God. Blessings come in big and small ways sometimes the greatest blessings come from the hardest times. I believe in blessings and I choose to find blessings in the everyday tasks in life. I am blessed to have a roof over my head that does not leak and that is warm on this cold winter day. I am blessed to have a job that I enjoy that also pays the bills. I am blessed to have the 5 best kids a mom could ever want and wish for. I am blessed with a wonderful daughter in law. I am blessed that I have dishes in my sink to wash because that means we had food to eat. I am blessed that I have laundry to finish because that means we have clothes to wear. I am blessed to have a vehicle to put gas in because I can make it to my job and other important places. I am blessed to have bills to pay and that somehow there seems to be the blessing of enough money to pay those bills. I am blessed with some great friends, those who are there for me whenever I need them.. I am also blessed with those who may not like me as much as others.. I am blessed with the ability to cook, I can sew, can and many other homemaking tasks that I enjoy and have been blessed to do. I have been blessed with the ability to write well and have been told I should share this talent with others..

Our families2015 in review..

Hello friends and Family,

I did not get Christmas cards or letters sent out this year because I planned to write a blog post about our year for your enjoyment.. Now that Christmas has passed and we are enjoying our first "big" snow of the year and waiting for the last few days of 2015 to come to pass I have decided to write about the year...

This year has been one filled with so many new and exciting things, as well as changes, losses, good byes and even a few hellos.. I believe we have felt and seen all the emotions a human can feel this year.. We have had ups and downs but through it all we Praise God almighty for allowing us not just the ups, but the downs and knowing that although we may not know the reason things happened as they have He knows and is in control.

I think I will start with Jordin Mckenzie..

He is now 22 and MARRIED.. Where in the world did the time go? Shouldn't he still be mommy's little boy who was always wanting to help others?? Oh wait he still is a helper.. He works hard and is always willing to help others.. I am super proud of him and how he has grown into such a great young man who loves the Lord.. So on November 28th he married a beautiful young lady named Katie.. She is a sweetheart and I am proud to call her my Daughter. She is a blessing.. They went to Hawaii for a week for their honeymoon.. We may not get to see them much but they are a busy young hardworking married couple.. Here are a couple pictures from the wedding.. 1st is of my handsome now married son and I and then the 2nd is of me and all of my kids..

Jillian Nichole is now 20 years old and getting ready to finish up her Junior year at Northwest Missouri State.. When she finishes that she is headed off to Fort Leonard Wood Missouri for basic training for the Army National Guard... She is busy with school and working we don't see much out of her but she still calls once, twice, three times sometimes 6, 7, 8 or 9 times a day and makes sure we don't forget she is around.. :) Her boyfriend just graduated Basic training and will be starting AIT soon. He is home for Christmas so she is busy.. :) She is doing excellent in school and I am proud of her.. She has goals and she is working hard to achieve her goals.. She is happier than I have seen her in awhile and I suspect it has a lot to do with Levi.. I said years ago those two would end up together and I well I am even more sure I am right.. He is a good kid and together those two will do great things... Jill is a real fighter when things aren't going as planned she fights hard to get things right.. Keep on keeping on Jillian I am proud of you..Here is a picture of Miss Jillian and Her man Levi..

Joslyn Grace is now 18 and has had quite a year.. She finally got her permit, helped at Church camp, went to Church camp and well went on Mission trip where on the 2nd full day she got a spiral fracture in her pinky finger requiring surgery on that Thursday.. Talk about a game changer.. My happy go lucky not mouthy girl turned into a grouch.. She was one mad girl 1st because she had to miss Worlds of Fun day with the Mission trip crew. 2nd she was out of summer sports.. 3rd.. The pain meds and her did not get along.. They made her a grumpy grumpy girl.. I was so happy and I believe she was too that she was off them.. We made a couple trips to see our loves Leah, Shelby and the girls in Wichita and then it was time for school to start.. Joslyn started her senior year of high school and softball season came to an end early for reasons beyond control. Basketball has started and is off to a great start.. (sorta). Joslyn was high scorer in a game with 23 points and then was named to the All Tournament team at the Gallatin Tournament.. Hdc conference games started on 12/12 with a game between Joslyn and her cousin Emily who plays for Grundy.. Joslyn's team won and she sprung her ankle.. She kept playing till the following Thursday night which ended up in a trip to the er.. She was on crutches for a bit and is healing but still not released to play.. We are hoping by the time school starts back in January hopes to be as good as new.. Oh yes and she made it to State in the 300 hurdles.. She wants to teach elementary after college.. Here are a couple pictures of her..1st is her and her fellow senior players and 2nd is one of her senior pictures.. Lets Go #40

Jacob Aaron.. Well he is now 16 and has his permit, but I can't seem to get him to drive for me at all. He is kinda like Joslyn he will either walk or his friends or mom will give him a ride.. He thinks he is a master negotiator but I am not convinced.. What was once my quiet, shy, helpful loving son has now blossomed into a full on teenage boy who likes to try to push his moms buttons, trying new things and all this momma can do is pray that he stays out of trouble and grows into a great young man.. He is smart and funny and has plans that he says include joining some type of military when he is older.. I tell him he will have to be more active than he is right now. LOL if he could spend all his time playing Ruinscape he would be happy.. I am praying he will decide to play sports next year.. He is in the 10th grade this year and I guess thought he should take the year off.. He is very smart and handsome.. He does run track and he is really good at it.. I am praying that he runs again this year and that both he and his sister make it to state.. I am proud of him and our goals for the upcoming year is learning to cook more stuff and possibly even baking.. :) Here are a couple pictures of handsome 16 year old who is taller than me, loving and sometimes onery and antagonistic son..Yes it is hard to get a normal picture of this kid.. :)

Jeremiah Hunter Wingate.. Where shall I start with this boy?? He is fun loving, kind, helpful, busy, onery and well I could go on and on.. He has taken to showing rabbits the past couple of summers and has done really well.. His grandpa built him like a rabbit hutch to beat all hutches.. We have 3 rabbits and we did have a rooster and a hen, but praise the Lord they have gone to better homes.. Thanks to Kerri, Michael, Wayne and Christina.. He is excited and loves showing them.. He really wants to show a cow, but I have no where to keep one or the equipment to keep one going and to show.. He is all boy.. video games, outdoors, bikes, sports and ummmm GIRLS... ugh help me please.. He plays basketball and he runs track... He is a fast little guy and a lot of fun to watch.. He is still a shorty and I am hoping someday he takes a growth spurt and gets some height.. He is growing up and is somewhat calmer.. He is willing to help anyone out and sometimes has the temper of a redhead but is also the most loving child.. If only he applied himself in school like he does to his rabbits, irritating his siblings and helping others.. :) I am not complaining he is a pretty good kid and I am blessed.. Here is a a couple of pictures of him.. :) Ag teacher has him and his friend take out the trash and this is how my kid rides back to class.. :) and the 2nd picture is him on the first day of 8th grade.. Next year high school.. Wow where has the time gone?

I quit my job at the school.. It was way more stress than I could take. I am now a waitress at a new Diner in Trenton.. I am loving it.. It is less stress and well things are looking up.. For the first time in a longtime I feel like I can breath a that life is on the upswing.. I have to say 2015 was full of ups downs and emotions but the one thing I help steadfast too was that God was in control and He would carry me when I wasn't sure I could keep going.

We lost my Aunt Inis, then my aunt Louise and then just a short time after she turned 98 we lost my last living grandma Mary.. I was able to sit with her and tell her I loved her and goodbye the evening and early morning hours before she passed.. My sister Megan and I along with my dad and all his siblings sat up at the Nursing home. Megan and I left a couple of hours before she passed but what  blessing to witness and share the stories.. The week before we had the first real family gathering at the Rowoth farm in forever.. It was a great time and I can't wait for another one..
My mom has had some problems one of which is Fuchs Dystrophy which effects eyesight.. She has had many dr appointments and a few surgeries.. It was during one of the many trips to the dr I learned that I also have it so I have to keep an eye on things.. No punn intended.. :)
So I gained a daughter in law, the kids and I moved into a new (to us) little house a few months ago and we are warm and cozy and the roof doesn't leak.. I am working at a job I truly do enjoy, I have more time at home with the kids and am able to attend their school and social events. The kids are all growing and doing really good. God has surely blessed me with some great friends, great family and the best kids..
The one change that was made that I am not happy about and am in the process of changing is that with the job change I have not been able to be at Church, which I am missing.. That my friends will be changing because I need and want the fellowship with other sisters and brothers in Christ.. God has held my family and I in the palm of His hands in 2015. I am excited to see what all He does for us, with us and through us in 2016.

My prayer for my friends, family and those who may read this post/ letter is this..
      Dear Heavenly Father.. I lift up all my friends, family and those who might read this post. I know you are the one who holds us when we cannot or do not feel like going on in life.. I know that many are hurting or sick Father and I ask that you touch them, their lives and families. Father for those who may or may not read this that either have known You and trusted You but have fallen or slipped away Father please pull them back to You and help them to know that You are the only one who can help them and that You are the reason for them and that You can change their lives and make it so much better.. Father we could all use a reminder that You love us and that You gave Your only Son for us and that You are always with us and that You do not really ask that much out of us.. You ask for us to trust You, love You and let you be Lord of our Lives.. Father forgives us for letting life get us too busy and not putting You forefront in our lives.. You are the reason for our lives and the blessings.. Thank You dear Lord for all You have and will do for Us.. Help us to never forget Who You are and that You are the author of life and You love us more than anyone ever will.. Father thank You for the 5 wonderful kids You have blessed me with and my daughter in lay. I am blessed Father and it is only You.. Help us to make sure our hearts and lives are a reflection of Your love, grace and mercy.. I thank You Lord for not just the good things that happen but the not so good as there are lessons in both.. You are the Almighty.. Thank You for loving me and showing me Love, Grace and Mercy that I do not deserve. Send a special blessing to all those who read this and those that are near and dear to me.. In Jesus Name I pray, ask and thank You for these things.. Amen..

May 2016 be filled with all the love, joy and blessings God has for you.. May you realize that without Jesus Christ none of this would be possible.. He is the ONLY way to Heaven and everlasting life.. I hope you choose Him and His ways..

Abba

Abba father hear my cries from deep within.. father god I'm so ready. Draw me closer and know that father god you are my true love and I am all thankful for all you have done and will do..
Father please hear my cries. I am so ready for you to send me my helpmate for here on earth.. I want the one you have for me. Please father help that one to not fall any further away draw him close and hold him tight till he realizes your in control..
I love you..

God's Promises

Another one from the drafts of 2015. Another open honest and raw look at my life..

My life began to go through several changes in 2005..  I know as a Christian and human I stood on a slippery slope and I believe I even slid down it.. I hit rock bottom in many areas and for a time wasn't sure God would ever love me, talk to me, bless me or forgive me.. I was done with my marriage.. I know that sounds harsh and terrible, but after 11 years of hell I just could not stand to be there any longer.. I had filed for divorce back in 1996 and stayed because I didn't believe divorce was right or the answer.. Things got worse in many ways.. I was content to stay in the marriage because I had 5 kids and was able to stay at home with them... I was controlled, verbally abused on a regular basis, emotionally abused and lied about.. People looked at me and thought I had it all and by all outside appearances I did.. But what went on behind closed doors told a different story.. I believe that a major part of the problem was he was not a believer.. He got mad because I was so involved in Church and I took the kids to Sunday School and Church and also asked him to babysit when I had some other Church things to do.. He was irritated that I was involved and he believed that I needed to be home cooking for him when he was hungry, taking care of the kids and taking care of his "needs".. Now I took care of my kids, I made sure they had their needs and most of their wants, they were fed, clothed and I supported them in all their activities which is more than I can say for him.. My purpose of this post is not to bash him but to put the truth out there. I was lied about and people thought I was a terrible person who spent all his money and did not pay the bills.. Funny thing is I was given $75 to $100 a week to buy diapers, groceries, gas for my car and whatever else the kids needed.. This was out of his $600-1000 paychecks a week.. Where did the rest of his money go? I have no idea but you see after our divorce he was in the same situation and still had no money and etc so people began to see that all of the excuses and things were not actually my fault.. I almost felt liberated, however my kids dealt with him talking so bad about me and saying I took all his money and etc.. I sat back and waited because I knew that they were getting old enough to see and know things were not like he portrayed them.. They finally saw it and he slowly walked out of their lives and only shows up if he thinks it will make he or his wife look like parents of the year which is NEVER.. OK well that is the background and then some...

So in 2005 I became good friends with some people in town who's kids always hung out with my kids.. They were having a rough time as well and to be honest with you I never expected anything to come about.. I found out that although they had kids together she had been married to another man all these years and would not get divorced.. The man was a truck driver who was gone almost all the time.. He did his best to provide for his kids and take care of them.. They both had different parenting styles and so it sometimes got crazy.. Anyway I was already done with my marriage but couldn't get out right then.. He and I became good friends and I promise that was it.. We talked and talked.. I have always had more guy friends than girl friends. Anyway we took the kids to the park we hung out and we talked.. When he was finally able to get his kids out of the situation they were in he called me and we talked and I just tried to be a good friend.. The day his son was killed I got a job at wal mart. I had decided to get a job to be able to support the kids and I when I was able to leave.. I met him at the hospital and took care of the other 3 kids while being badgered by people for his kids mom who were trying to prove how bad of a person he was. I told him to try to make it work with her after the accident if that would make him happy.. He tried it but she would not get divorced and wanted him to make changes but she wasn't willing to make any.. We talked together and prayed together..

The kids dad and I were still in the same house but not really together.. I started working 3 or 4-11 at Wal-Mart and my friend came to see me and we spent time talking on break and after work and yes things progressed and that was wrong so very wrong.. I know that, however I had never felt so in love, wanted and needed.. I had never felt that with my husband.. I didn't even want to get married but yet I did and I stayed in that hell for almost 13 years.. My friend and I would stop and pray together each night before we went home.. In early 2006 along Highway C I truly felt God telling me he was the one that it might take some time but that he was the one.. I kinda brushed it off and wasn't sure that I was truly hearing from God.. I asked God for confirmation and I was given it and have been more than once.. After this night on the highway I decided to try to make it work with my kids dad because I thought it would be the best and divorce was wrong.. I knew and had known for years he had been talking on and off to another woman and that he was doing something with all his money and that he treated me like his slave but I wanted my kids to have a family.. Needless to say things got worse with him and I finally had him removed from the house and he filed for divorce.. I tried to steer clear from my friend just to make sure I was doing things right.. I had fallen madly deeply in love with him and our ability to communicate and be there for each other.. My divorce was final and I was trying to move on with life and take care of the kids and I .. Many things happened and changed and my friend and I got together. But I believe satan wiggled his way in and it wasn't our time.. I still had confirmation that he was the one, but he chose to walk away.. Will he ever walk back in to stay? That's up to him and whether he lets God be the one to lead him in life.. All I can do is pray for him and that God gets ahold of him and does a great work in his life.. .. 

Hometown hero

Today my hometown laid to rest Lt Eric Lorenz. . He was one of the greatest guys ever.. he was by all rights a hero in my hometown..

if you look up hero in the Webster's dictionary you will find the following meaning. . a person who is admired for great or brave acts or fine qualities. : a person who is greatly admired. Eric and his life showed that he was truly a hero. . When the bell rang,  that call came in and he was needed he went and did his job to the best of his ability.. he took not only his job as firefighter and Ems worker serious and did it to the best of his ability,  but also his job as husband,  daddy and friend.. I'm not sure Eric Ever met a stranger and he always had a smile. . People looked up to him and learned so much from Him. . He was brave and possessed the greatest qualities. . Loyalty,  brave, honest,  dedicated, kind, loving, encouraging,  helpful, Godly,  family man and I could go on and on but you get the point. . His parents did a great job raising the kind of man every momma dreams of for their daughter and daddy for his kids. .

Eric married Rachel and they have two beautiful children Lillyann and Lucas Who were his world. . He and Rachel had a great marriage.. I know there are going to be tough/rough and hard day's ahead and I pray for them. .  Rachel has lots of memories and I'm sure she as well as the rest of the family and friends will help his memory live on for his kids. .

Eric was a dedicated man not only to his wife and kids but to his community and God.  I am forever grateful to have known him. . I am so blessed and thankful for how our hometown honored our hero as his body was laid to rest. .

We know that in the Bible we are told there is a time to live,  a time to die a time to reap and a time to sow. . Eric lived 30 short years and it was his time. . He reaped the love, home and dedication from his community and family that he had sown. .  We don't know why it seems the good seem to go first, but for those who believe in Christ Jesus we know Gods plans and timing are always right and we have to trust that he has a plan and a reason. .

So to our hometown Hero Lt Eric Lorenz #237 We say rest in peace.. Fly high.. watch over your dear wife Rachel, lillyann, Lucas , Your friends and family and may God send them a peace and comfort surpasses all understanding.. may he show them that he is holding them close and your ok and with him. . You will never be forgotten. . Thank you for all you have done.  Rest easy.. till we see you again..

Church camp

Every summer as a child I remember attending church camp at least one week and most summer's two weeks. . I went to a Camp in Iowa for kids that went to Christian churchs and then I went to a camp closer to home for kids who went to Baptist church's. .

I loved church camp and both camps were different but equally great as I was growing up. What is better than spending a week with other likeminded people getting real and letting God speak to you.. I have often wished i could bottle or package the church camp expierence so others who haven't gotten to have that.. Heck I know better than anyone what its like to be saturated in the holy spirit and the high you get at camp only to drive out the gates and be hit with reality and real life and the problems of everyday life.. I used to think that I was invincible when camp was over. . It didn't take long for reality to set In..

My heart has always been in helping others have that mountain top experience and helping them feel more equipped to take on life outside the gates of camp. . We used to worry about who would be In the cabin with us and if the friends We met the year before would be there. . Now we anticipate and pray for those who will be in our cabins.  The ones we are In charge of and knowing that some come from great Christian homes,  while others may not,  some come with a tattered broken life while others seem to have it all and knowing that when God moves and speaks He doesn't just call, speak or move among the ones who seemingly have it all together or just among the broken ones he can and will work in any willing vessel. .  Some of the children or youth that come to camp come in so broken and afraid to let anyone in, some come in ready and willing to open up and reach out,  while others will try your every ounce of patience and you might want to scream..

The reality is that everyone who comes to camp whether to serve or as a camper should be prepared for God to get ahold of them and rock their world.. if you haven't ever served at camp or sent your children or youth I say its a must. 

Are you willing to take a week out of Your summer to be completely open to God using you to better his kingdom?  Are you willing to sacrifice a week with kids who might push every button you have while God is working on them?  Are you willing to sweat buckets,  loose sleep,  listen to God's word be brought in a real and powerful way,  have some fun and watch what God can and will do in your life and the lives of others? ? 

God is so good and he sacrificed so much for us are we truly willing to sacrifice and share His love with others??  Go camp will change your life. ..

Its been awhile. .

Hey there. . Is been awhile. . I'm back and going to be working in merging all my blogs into one. . I really just need the one and to get back into blogging in a regular basis so this will be the spot.. keep your eyes open for some great new posts and some old posts too. . Have a blessed day. .