Why must it be this way? Why must it hurt so bad? Why must you insist on doing your own thing instead of what the Lord leads you to do? Why does it not seem to bother you? Why is it you act as though you don't care and probably never did? Why am I the only one who cries for what is lost? Why is it when I pray for God to take the desire from my heart does it grow stronger when for you it seems to grow weaker? Why is it my heart sees it and feels it, other people see it and know it and yet you don't seem to have a clue??
I know better than to sit here playing this why game, but sometimes I just can't seem to help myself. I have been praying and seeking the Lord's will and I finally had come to a place where I knew it was ok to ask God to take the desires that I have in my heart away if they were not in His will.. It seemed that some were taken and well the ones I was not sure about were made stronger in my heart, which in some ways has made things so much harder for me.. I know His time and ways are perfect and I am thankful for that. I sometimes wonder just how much my heart or emotions can take. I sometimes wish I could get off the roller coaster and just sit and not have so many questions.. Somethings are much easier to figure out and live with and I guess I don't have as many patience as I thought I had... Oy Oy Oy..
Dear Lord,
I just want to be the person you created me to be doing the things you created me to do. I am sorry that I often worry and fret over things especially when I know that I have no control Father. I pray for forgiveness for worrying, stressing and questioning. Please forgive me Father.. You know my desires and if they are a part of Your Will then please bless me with them, and if they are not then Father please give me the desires that are of Your will.. I love you Lord Jesus.. Thank You for loving me and for allowing me to go through the trials and tribulations as well as the good times in life. You truly are an Awesome God.. I ask these things in Jesus Name Amen..
I need to focus more on His word and what He gives me everyday and rely on the fact that He will give me all that I need and so much more if all of my trust is in Him.. He knows what is best and He knows the best time to conduct His will in and for my life.. Thank You Jesus for always being there and loving me even when I let my flesh take over. PLease be with my friends reading this..
God Bless
